Turn Your Weaknesses Into Strengths
I realized recently that I was capable of preaching the Gospel, teaching the Bible, and even ministering to people in need without having a very close relationship with God... or even desiring one. All of a sudden I became aware of this lackadaisical connection with God.
While looking for John Piper's recommended book on fasting (something I've never done), I stumbled over this book and immediately the Holy Spirit convicted me. This is what I was suffering from. I was not desiring God. Well, if I'm not desiring God, then what am I desiring? Stuff. Entertainment. There's that word again. I wonder how many of us are addicted to "entertainment" and just have no clue. I know it's a problem for me. But where to start to do battle, right? Well, by God's grace, while I was ordering this book, I stumbled over another book that addressed THAT problem as well!! You'll see it's the next book I'm reading. That's how God works in me. He just does stuff for me because He knows that out of all His sheep, I'm the dumbest.
Anyway, I'm ready for this season of slacking off to be over. I want how Jesus describes in Revelation... to find my first love. When I was first saved, I was on fire. When I went to San Diego for discipleship training with Jake McDonnell, he and that class set me on fire. Leaving Denslowe Community Church to come out here to Cold Springs Valley Church, knowing that God had placed a very specific calling on my life... set me on fire.
I want that fire back. It's great to be on fire when I'm on stage and when I'm praying with people to accept Jesus, but what about the rest of the time when I'm supposed to be engaging God and enjoying my close relationship with Him... taking in that constant communication, guidance, and closeness. I want that. I don't know if I ever really had it, but by golly I'm gonna start praying it right now and Lord willing, I'll read through this book and discover some things about Him and myself that will help bring me to that place of having joy in this relationship with God Almighty. It sounds ridiculous when I say that, right? Stupid humans. We really are dumb sheep. How awesome is God that He is patient with me and loves me anyway.